Grieving through Unforeseen Times
Grief is carried through people like waves hitting a sandy beach. Uncertain as to each moment, different with each crash, but indefinitely another wave is coming again. When you are grieving or around grief, you tend to be catching each moment like a surfer catches a wave to the beach. With each of them, you hope to get to the shore and onto mainland where the ground is not shaking nor shifting.
The Bible speaks often about grief:
brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah. Gn 26:35
not cause grief or a troubled heart 1Sa 25:31
“Oh that my grief were actually weighed Jb 6:2
has also grown dim because of grief, Jb 17:7
My eye has wasted away with grief; Ps 6:7
My eye is wasted away from grief, Ps 31:9
“It is my grief, That the right hand Ps 77:10
My soul weeps because of grief; Ps 119:28
foolish son is a grief to his mother. Pr 10:1
pain, And the end of joy may be grief. Pr 14:13
foolish son is a grief to his father And Pr 17:25
in much wisdom there is much grief, Ec 1:18
So, remove grief and anger from your Ec 11:10
of sorrows and acquainted with grief; Is 53:3
To crush Him, putting Him to grief; Is 53:10
For the Lord has caused her grief La 1:5
For if He causes grief, La 3:32
when I did not cause him grief, Ezk 13:22
with breaking heart and bitter grief, Ezk 21:6
but your grief will be turned into joy. Jn 16:20
“Therefore you too have grief now; but Jn 16:22
and unceasing grief in my heart. Ro 9:2
do this with joy and not with grief, Heb 13:17 (1)
The grieving process has no hard set path. The following ideas are suggestions that can be helpful.
(1) Grieve in community and not isolation. Granted many tears will be alone, early in the morning, late at night, etc, but the entire process does not have to be isolated from others. During a day of grief, find someone to pray with, talk with, listen to, etc. During this interaction, the content of grief may never arise, and that is okay. During this interaction, the content may be all that is talk about, and that is okay. The key is to build a community of support around you during a time of need.
(2) Grieving takes time and cannot be expedited. Obviously, the time of the grieving process is different for everyone as it is relative and subjective in nature. Despite the relativity, everyone tends to rush their personal process. People do not enjoy grieving and the reason for grieving. We want to get to grieving’s end, so naturally we “microwave” ourself through emotions. Grieving, much like discipleship, takes time to understand, unpack, process, etc.
(3) Grieve in the Lord and not as others do. Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4: 13 (NAS), “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as •do the rest who have no hope.” A couple of things are happening in this passage: (1) Paul is teaching the church about death, and (2) Paul is instructing the church as to how to navigate a difficult grieving season. About grief, he reminds us that it is okay to grieve, just not like the world, (2) and we are to grieve with hope (aka in the Lord). We grieve in the Lord by inviting Him into our space. We do this through requesting His presence when we pray to Him, reading the Bible, talking to Godly people, worshipping, serving others, etc.
__________________
david evans is the Senior Pastor of Springfield Baptist Church in Springfield, TN. He has pastored for more than 25 years and has earned degrees (M.Div, Th.M, Th.M and Ph.D) in the areas of Christian Education, Leadership, Church Growth, Evangelism, Missiology and Apologetics. Check the church out at www.Springfield-Baptist.com. Feel free to contact david via e-mail DavidEvans@Springfield-Baptist.com.
__________________
(1)Robert L. Thomas, The Lockman Foundation, New American Standard Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible: Updated Edition (Anaheim: Foundation Publications, Inc., 1998).
